Showdown

Dunkin Doughnuts and Starbucks have long been enemies. It was a well known controversy from day one, and the coffee chain was wining. But now, Dunkin Doughnuts has challanged the worlds fast coffee superpower. They are on operation expantion and will be for an upward of 14 years!
A Penguin associate, Mr. Quak, has been working out the details of this controversy for the last ten years of his life. As leader of the Controversy and Arguement Department (CAD) he has spent much of his spare time, thinking up problems. Of course, the majority of the department's time goes to manipulating Elelctions and such. Quak has devoted much his alleged "spare Time" to this project, and hopes to recieve a good pay off from it.
"The P.U. owes me over a thousand shiny stones in overtime." HE declared proudly. Unfortunatly, Flibble claims that he will not recieve the pay, untill the P.U. is finachally sound again.
"As soon as our American branch has set up a base again, we will get more money from the individuals of America." This means that a whole third of your Tax dollars are actualy going to the Penguins, though this fact is not realized by the President. As soon as our base is set up, the money will come in a steady flow.
Quak was dissapointed when he heard that he would not be recieving pay for a plan that he put into action and that promises great sucsess for the P.U.'s Discordian sect.
The DIscordian sect is a new and experimental program that the Penguins have been running for almost three months now. Discordians who wish to become part of the sect in order to help the penguins induce chaos and take part in those wild saturday night staff partys, must contact thier nearest Penguins base. Mr.Flibble will not divulge any other information on the sect at this point in time.