Christmas With the Penguins

Flibbles and I are all decked out for the holidays. My present to all my readers is a Penguin! See!

Singlenesia

About the new link ( Other News ) It goes to singlenesia.com, a place with whaky news that may or may not have anything to do with Penguin activity. That's for you to decide.

Mr. Flibbles

Mr. Flibbles has been verry busy lately, but has informed me that he has FINALY gotten around to getting an E - Mail adress. ( I've been onto him about that for ages. ) Questions can now be sent strait to Flibbles at flipityfun@yahoo.com. Don't expect too much of an ansewr though, he doesn't take to strangers.

The Door to Nowhere

Of late, the Penguins have started the " Doors to Nowhere " campainge. Many laws created recently have been invoked to protect the idiots whom nateral selection would have otherwise killed off.Now, the Penguins don't like odiots; so they have decided to help nature in it's course by putting snow doors in as many buildings as they can. if people fall out, they propably wern't usefull anyway.

Secret Weapon

Chainy entered the oval office, tired and harried." Mr. President? "
Bush looked up from his Dr. Suess book and nodded, setting it aside.
" The Penguins have entered the Iraqi war, we can't hold them back. " Chainy watched as bush stood, wearing a flowery bathrobe and matching slippers. He walked to a blank wall and tapped it, opening a seceret compartment. A large, black, cannon - like object emerged from it.
"W.....What is that?" Chainy stutered, shaking a little.
" Our seceret weapon. " Bush pulled a large lever at the back of the gun, unmistakably cocking it. He motioned for the lights to be turned off and aimed it carfully. A small circle of light apeared on the wall. " I call it, the photon gun. "

Bridge to the Moon

I have just recevied word of a secret bridge from antarctica to the moon. It was compleated on April 27, 2005. It is covered and has a beuatifull oxygen system. The effect? It allows the penguins to make extra terrestrial contacts and escape if earth is destroyed; but is also has a scientific benefit. The moon is no longer leaving us; no, our silvery rabbit is held fast by a magical Penguin bridge.

John F. Kenedy?

Here is the thing, Penguin takover is not a recent thing, it's been hapening slowly for a while. ( I'm not positive just how long, but it reaches back to at least Shakespear's time. ) Would you have guessed that the famous JFK was a Penguin spy? ( If you're sitting there in shock, don't worry, I had the same reaction when Flibble told me ) Anyway, the point of this is to tell the truth about the JFK murders. Yes, thats right, Murders; JFK died twice. A rouge group of penguins split away from the P. U. ( Penguins United ) and tried to stop the domination by killing thier most usefull spy, and replacing him with thier own imposter. Then, the P. U. discovered and killed the imposter. As to whose body is really under JFK's headstone, is left for you to deside.

Traffic

In portland, a crazed supporter attacked a traffic survailence camera in hopes of desroying evidence of Penguin activity. He then drove off, and dumped the remains off a cliff. He obviously didn't realize that the information is not stored in the camera and was later arrested for defacing police property and speeding. Talk about stupid.

Penguins V.S. The Illuminati....Who Would Win?

Yesterday, the Penguins met up with the K. K. K., an outpost of the illuminati. After and hour of harsh struggle, more illuminati officials turned up to rescue thier outpost before it was destroyed. With this new compitition in the world's domination, the Penguins must really "buckle down." All suporters contact your nearest Penguin base for info on how you can help.